five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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