You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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