Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Why is there bacon in the couch?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
