And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
