I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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