Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
