i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize