Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
