It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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