By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
