Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
