BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
