It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
