God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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