I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
