theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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