I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the condom got lost in my hair
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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