It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
