you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
