I think my vagina is haunted
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
