I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
