In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize