If that was your dad, he is hot
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
