OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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