Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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