oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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