And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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