How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
