Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
