I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
