id be glad to
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
