When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize