he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
