Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
