Already got asked if we're dating
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize