She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize