He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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