I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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