i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
