do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
only if we run a train.
done.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Help. Why am I so naked?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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