I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
