My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
