this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
