At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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