Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
