But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
