Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
