You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
