remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
