I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Life is so much better after having sex.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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