yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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