i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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