its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
