Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
