Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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