she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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