But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
