Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
