Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if you like me you must not know who I am
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
