we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Do vagina's smell?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
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Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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