i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
